A Christian Rant - Perspective

This is not my normal segmented format, but rather just a rant of confusion at the state of Christians... and in some way, I really hope some of you read this and feel convicted in the same way I do, or turn around your ways, also known as repentance...

Do you even know what repentance is?

I see everyone walking around in sin, comfortable with sin, dealing with sin, ignoring sin... yet I know if you believe, then there are things that should bother you like they do me. My gosh does it hit me hard some times. Like not a little bit, but like hard. For example, lately I've been in a poor mental state and I've picked a bad habit of shoving unhealthy foods, treats, and sugar filled stuff in my face... and I ditched that stuff well over a year ago. Here I am in a state of stress and confusion - and I feel this AWFUL feeling every time I even look at these things, I ignore them and feel extremely guilty. I need pray, and I need get rid of this gluttony practice, and I need the Lord's help, yet I keep shoving that aside for my own self satisfaction... and I feel the effects of it every day.

Like, I know what I need to do, and I will do it, but it first starts with that sorrow. I need to feel it, feel that it's wrong, and then I need to battle my flesh to change my ways. I don't want to take advantage of the beautiful gift of grace and forgiveness that God has given me. Some folks might call it... repentance... because that's what it is. I don't ever hear anyone talking about this in real life.

I also read the Bible and question whether or not I am doing what God or Jesus asks. I take these words to heart the best I can. I know everyone's walk is different, but this kind of tailors into my next point of when I am at church...

Do these sermons not HIT you?

Maybe your church isn't good at accountability, but mine is. No matter who's preaching, there's always times where I feel God's word and the sermon piercing my soul, to the point to where I've left church depressed. Are y'all not feeling this? What are y'all thinking while you're in there?

I often take the feeling and ponder on them, remember them, and try as hard as I can to make changes and carry them with me. I see people taking note, some people talking instead of listening, and most folks just seem wholly unaffected. They chatter, they go outside have a great time, and it's almost like they didn't just sit through 30 minutes of being told how to realize, change, and equip yourself to be a tree or vine for God that produces good fruit.

I guess maybe just showing up to them is good enough? I don't get that at all. I get community and all that jazz... but like, you have this amazing opportunity, sometimes multiple times a week to learn from a studied expert basically. For free. It's like being in tech, and every week you have like genius up on the stage telling you how to code, with a community of people that will help you advance. Why don't we take more advantage of this?

Preachers put a lot of time to deliver their messages. Take them to heart y'all.

Do you even realize "church" is you? Yes you, not the building!

My church gave me a magnet that says "Remember Who You Represent." I love it, because it does remind me every now and then... even when I am not at church, I represent Christ as the church. I am a physical vessel for God's glory. It's not just who I want or aim to be, no, I am representation of my Lord. I am made in his image.

That means if I go out into the world and go on about the things I've accomplished, the things I do, and the things that I made happen around me... I've completely missed the point of following Jesus. My skills and talents were God-given. My circumstance was God-chosen. My situation was God-gifted. My sorrows, trials, and works are the result of Jesus. Do I do that enough... or at all? Or am I so focused on myself and my own improvement and happiness that I forget Jesus is right here?

The world is a canvas, you are the tool, and God is the painter, designer, and creative behind it.

Belief and Faith are not small asks... they are HEAVY.

Let's look at the polar opposites here;

• An atheist believes nothing. To them, the Bible is book, Jesus was a man that was just a man, and there's no evidence of God no matter what you put in front of them.
• A follower of Christ feels and feeds the spiritual reality of what is unseen. We cannot exist with a being like God directly, but we see Him, feel Him, and recognize His amazing works.

Sounds simple yeah? No. I am... bothered by how simple we preach the Bible. "Believe in Jesus and you will have your place in Heaven." It's a trail... that should be very easy to see and follow. If you believe in God, even before Jesus, you should stand to fear in awe of God and want to appease Him. After Jesus, you should feel that belief. You should be ever so grateful for what He has done for you, so much so that you want to learn about Him, follow Him, and grow a connection to Him. As a result, your faith will grow, and it will completely change your life.

This... isn't a simple thing. It's not a prayer. It's not just keeping it in the back of your mind. It is... well belief. You should ask yourself now if nothing has changed in you... not in your situation, but in YOU, the person... then do you really believe?

Or... do you only believe when the worship music hits you? Do you only believe in prayer? Do you read the Bible, go to church, group, etc. as a necessity and obligation, or is it because you want to?

Shepherding is a difficult thing.

Part of really believing in Jesus is basically... well... that you own nothing. Your money, family, and even life isn't yours; it belongs to God.

Therefore, that means whatever you have, is a thing that should enable you to glorify God. I have no issue with the idea of tithing. That's not what this is about, but it does play into what I am talking about. Are you tithing because it's required of you as a Christian, or are you tithing because you truly believe your church is doing good things through the Lord and you want to see them perform good works?

Not only that, but your skills and talents. Music is a big one. Are you using it to further the kingdom, help others, or glorify God? If you build houses, are you aware of how much you help others? There's so many ways you can use your talents, if you just let God take control and guide you.

And then time. You were given a short life, with the word of God, and the freedom to make choices out of love. Do you spend your time loving others? Probably not. You probably hold grudges, might be cynical, or get angry at a 2 second delay or inconvenience.

Also, love is not transactional.

I feel like... a lot of people, preachers, and online "influencers" or whatever you want to call them preach the gospel as transactional. If you follow Jesus, then you get peace. If you believe in Jesus, you'll be rich (in any way you can think of). If you believe in Jesus, you will go to Heaven. If you read your Bible, your life will get better.

Notice a trend there? That whole "if/then" type of statement is killing me internally. I don't like for things to be transactional, because it takes the heart out of it. It feels like debt more than it feels like love.

It's also a trend I see in people who have "deconstructed." Was there ever any love? Did you just put "good works" and checkboxes in the slot machine and hope you'll get what you want? That's not how this works y'all.

The truth is... you may have what's considered a great life and feel empty. You then follow Jesus and your worldly life will be full of suffering until your death. Thing is... you'll have peace there, because you know what's on the other side, and you do it all out of love and faith.

... After all is said and done... it's awfully lonely.

I don't ever hear about this. People use church to fit in, but they develop friendships and don't really do anything for God. Your non-Christian friends probably don't like you as much anymore. Your passions and loves that existed in this world start to fade. You start realizing what's draining your soul, and it's not easy things to intake. Maybe that's your favorite hobby looking like crap, or feeling uninspired. Maybe it's the uselessness of your career. It will and should be just about everything.

People don't like the new you. Even in the church circle, you feel left out because no one has the same love and passion for it like you do. Your family begins to warp and change. Your priorities drastically shift.

Then next thing you know, you're sitting in a corner, with peace, feeling the presence of God, trying your hardest to pray, follow Jesus, and repent for your sins, without a single soul there to help you.

Sigh...

I just leave you with this article. I don't miss my old life. I'll take life in isolation with Jesus in my heart over a full crowd of people I love. Would you do the same?

Love y'all, and I have no apologies for you if you felt attacked in any way here. If you did, turn around and look in the mirror. That's what you're fighting, not my words.