MSR #2 - The Energy Issue

MSR = Mental Struggle Reset. That's the terminology and the name of the series here. If this is your first article, know that there are (or will be depending on when you read this) other articles around this topic. Look for the tag if you're struggling or looking to see the things I do.

Anyone who's stuck already knows where I am going here. I've got energy... until it comes to things. Then I have none. I need to fix things, help myself, but I just can seem to do nothing. Everything important I avoid, anything needed exhausts me, and I just feel like I have a smashed brain at all times.

Our mental state can definitely affect our physical state, and also the reverse. Most times in the case of a mental struggle, it could be both, where your mental state itself causes physical exhaustion, which can lead to lack of sleep, headaches and constant frustration, and lack of motion or doing productive things, which ends up crippling you double time.

In addition, the things that normally give us energy just suddenly feel... just not good anymore. The willpower is gone. Whatever discipline you're trying to implement feels like defeat, even when you do power through it.

So... what do we do?

You end up living in a very mild state - looking for small moments of joy and constantly searching for small moments. We end up chasing just anything that doesn't look like whatever we're feeling in the moment. That ends up looking very different for everyone, however here's a few ways that I end up in this loop.

• Eating - I get that little jolt of joy from candy, ice cream, a good pretzel... and I keep returning to the kitchen more and more times. It's a loop because it's trash food, full of sugar or carbs, which ends up in the end making me feel more and more like crap, or I over eat, which physically exhausts me.
• Doom scrolling/phone games - Both are equally as destructive to the mind. They serve as literally "in the moment" escapes, and often as soon as you hop off, you are instantly irritated and worse than before. Then... you go right back to it.
• Complaining - I often feel too exhausted to do anything productive, however I get this little jolt of joy complaining, or discussing critical things with others, which results in that little bit of relief in the moment. Over time though, that complaining makes everything feel more heavy than it should be.

Here's the problem here, the death loop of the mind if you will, that life is hard right now, so you crave some joy and happiness, because you can't find any of that anywhere at the moment... so you end up in these little defeating habits that take what little energy and joy you could have and eats away at it. This ends up not making you ultimately feel better, takes pretty much all your energy, for only temporary relief. It's dopamine chasing.

This may sound hard, because it is... but we need to replace the poor habits with good habits. I know... it's not always easy or successful, but we need to at least try. If we even replace one of these things, trust me, it helps. Once you get out of the "fast dopamine" loop, you will be in an even tougher spot, but that's your mind cleansing itself. Once it's cleansed, things get a little easier to manage because your mind expects longer times for more rewards.

Good habits I do include -

• More hobby time
• Journaling
• Praying
• Reading physical books (because the screens end up tempting me too much)
• Exercise - even if it doesn't replace anything, it helps in general

Look, if you aren't in a mental struggle, but you're struggling in other ways, this particular section can help you as well. Trust me on this; temporary bliss cannot replace real rewards and progress.

We all have some sort of routine. For example, as a blue collar worker, you may wake up at 5am, take a shower, make your lunch, drive to work. At work, you work for 4 hours, have a 1 hour lunch, work another 4 hours and drive home. When you get home, it's dinner time, followed by rest in front of the TV and on the phone, put the kids to bed, clean the kitchen, brush teeth, go to bed.

This is fine and dandy in a normal situation - however when you're mentally struggling, this can very quickly feel like a prison, stuck in a daily grind that never seems to end. This may seem crazy, but change something and you'll see how it brings you a little more energy, because simple changes will do that.

Note that this isn't going to solve your problems, but what it may do is give you a little more energy and drive to help get to the solution. You need energy to get out of this. That's what we're trying to find.

Make your lunch and take a shower the night before. At work, do 5-6 hour stints before you take a break. Do a different kind of work while you're there. Occasionally work a little bit of overtime to knock the schedule out of whack. Certain nights, replace TV with board games, family cleaning time, a walk, just not "potato time." Develop a new simple hobby and squeeze it in somewhere.

It may seem dumb, but breaking that rut tends give a little bit of life. If we have energy, we can work through things.

You are reading words of a guy who loves food, and honestly gets so bored with exercise that I cannot do it if my life depended on it. So when I sit here and tell you these things will help... I mean it.

If you over eat, constantly intake sugar, drink a ton of caffeine, or eat fast food all the time... it's not helping you at all. Now, I've tried MANY different diets over the years, and none of them worked. Here's the thing I've learned though; you must get rid of the temptation completely, especially if you feel you can't control it. Don't buy the energy drinks. Don't purchase the candy. Don't have "just in case" food. Don't make so much that you plump yourself.

Let's touch exercise here for a second. Movement loosens muscles. Exercise pulls you out of your head and into reality. It causes blood to flow, which naturally helps your brain and heart. Honestly, you don't need a massively huge and crazy routine. I don't care what your ripped friend says, you do not need a gym membership and 3 hours a day to practice physical health. I don't do that. 10 mins of stretching, pushups, general movement literally helps. It helps a lot. Like... I can't explain how much it actually helps. Literally 10 of mins something. 5 mins. 1 minute even. Just start.

Okay so final point in this section that you need to be aware of - these things aren't going to instantly make you happy... so you need be okay with feeling sad over the things you can't have or don't want to do. I know, that sounds weird. Why would you do sad things? Because it's healthy my friend. Suffering here will lead to something much greater. Learn to be okay with sadness and use discipline to work through it. If you fall, fail, or relapse... it's okay. It happens. Start over, try again.

"How is accountability energy related? You trying to kill me by pleasing others?" - No no... what we're doing is breaking the cycle of the things you are NOT doing.

This may be very particular to my... specific build I'll call it, but I hit these periods where I have very important matters, tasks, and things I actually need to do... and just can't. It's really hard to get any of it done. What I've actually found here is that accountability helps with that. You need some energy to get something done? Do it for someone else. Trust me, the energy sometimes returns.

Like for example, I sometimes forget to pay bills. I'll be walking around the house, and I'll tell my wife "hey, don't let me forget I need to pay the electricity bill." Well, now it's reality. It's not just something I need to do, now my wife knows that I know I need to do it, it tends to get done. Sometimes you'll see people struggling and you can offer to help them, suddenly some energy comes back and little joy comes along with it.

Of course, there's also the ideas of accountability partners as well. You can look up the concept for yourself. I hear it works wonders for folks... it tends to fall flat for me personally. I tend to just get rebellious instead.

Even while in these struggles, there does tend to be some energy lying around. The thing is, it tends to get soaked up real quick with day to day stuff. This is where energy preservation comes into play, and it's a very frequent practice for me with or without a struggle at hand.

The idea here is that you want to take on the world, but you can't. That should be obvious, but by the first couple of hours of the day, it tends to not be the case. You have a broken dishwasher, a job, needy kids, family requests, text messages... and what it does is disturb your peace. That's really the core of preservation here; keeping your peace.

How do you do that? It's give and take sacrifice. That dishwasher... it's important, but your kids come first. Spend the energy with your kids. If you're at your job, there's probably a bucket of work that should've been done yesterday that's actually a backlog of 6 months. Pick just one, or a couple of important things and just do that.

In addition, you can't forget about yourself. You need non-negotiables, self-care, and recharge time. Take it. Even if it means sacrificing something else important.

One last thing here before the thoughts; do things you love, have passion for, or that generally give you joy. You may warp it in your mind that these things take energy, but there's the energy of your physical self, and there's mental and spiritual energy that can fuel you further. Sometimes playing your favorite game will help you get through a day. Sometimes completing a small project, or making progress in a hobby brings you to life... even for a little bit. Call a friend, do something fun, change things up.

Here's the thing; everything on this list is intended to give you energy. It's what you do with the energy you get that can change the game. Sometimes that has to be done with discipline and intentionality.

Alrighty, I hope something here works for you!